How should we run the victory lap?
TLDR: My reflections on approaching senior year at Stanford as a series of sprints and rests.
9 weeks into senior year at Stanford, I can’t help but be reminded of my senior year of high school: a fall and winter of college applications which transitioned into a bizarre, covid veiled celebratory spring. As I began to submit my apps, I was left, not with a feeling of contentedness and satisfaction as I expected, but instead restlessness. I found myself contemplating the ultimate question of every high school over achiever. After getting into college…
As a high schooler, I found this sentiment to be a dampening feeling on what should have been a happy go lucky senior spring. In between laying sessions on the Castilleja circle, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself: Did I choose the right school? What’s my next goal post? What does success now look like?
Coming into senior year at Stanford, I was determined to avoid this feeling: a combination of senioritis, perseverating over the future, and a pressure to maximize our last year. And as a type A person, there are few things I find harder than dealing with uncertainty.
We’ve spent three years running laps around main quad and coupa green. As our four year marathon comes to a close the question remains: how will we decide to approach our personal victory laps? Already ahead, do we stop and smell the roses? Or will the uncertainty of post-marathon life keep us sprinting towards, or worse, running away from the finish line?
I’ve found myself, personally, oscillating between sprinting and walking. Here is the mindset I’ve tried to adapt. I share them in the hope that they’ll make dealing with uncertainty a little easier for you as well:
⚠️ Take risks
4 years into our college experiences, it’s easy to feel washed. We know everyone, have done everything, etc…*Counter*: Senior year is just freshman year with the confidence and security that comes with having more experience and real friends.
Senior nights are NSO with alcohol, first times are now special because they are last times, and we have nothing to lose not necessarily because we are anonymous right now but because we will be in 8 months when we graduate.
I’ve found my co-ed row house 680 more similar to my freshman dorm Crothers Memorial (aka crusty crothers) than any other living situation. My favorite parts of the quarter have been late night hallway discussions with former acquaintances (now friends), treating the larger Palo Alto/SF area as my extension of Stanford campus, and attempting new hobbies. The way I see it, this is our last year of having a real safety net. Make the most of it.
💰Buy in
As Sheryl Sandberg so neatly puts it: “Lean in!” and be a Stanford student. Go to football games, be ratchet at euro trash, go bowling with senior randos, attend Gaieties (and maybe even naked run). Play the senior year bored game (shoutout Zach and co), an essential checklist of fun, quirky Stanford things to do with your classmates. Highlights of this quarter were participating in the Stanford band for senior day and storming the field. Are we too old to do this? Perhaps. But in a year we will definitely be too old.
🏆 You’ve done everything so you can do anything.
In their book "Algorithms to Live By" (thanks for the rec, Arjun), Christian and Griffiths apply the concept of explore vs. exploit algorithms to real-life scenarios. The explore vs. exploit dilemma challenges computer scientists to balance introducing users to something new versus presenting something they already enjoy. The beauty of this algorithm is that as you collect more user data, you become more comfortable exploiting rather than exploring – a principle we can apply to our college experiences.
As freshmen, our capacity for exploration was high: we didn't know what friends we needed, what classes we wanted to take, or which events were worth attending. But now, as seniors, we can confidently overindex on exploitation. We've experienced so much that we can be more selective about our choices.
Equipped with experience and wisdom, we can be more deliberate and efficient, making time for what truly matters. The key is to lean into saying no, so we can give strong, meaningful "yes" to the most important things. On that note…
👯♀️ Prioritize time with your closest friends
Ah friendship. Perhaps the most important thing you have built in your college career. I’m starting to learn that as we get older our circles naturally shrink and maybe thats ok. A study from Dartmouth showed that post college, only about 25% of college friendships stay in tact.
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately and how we build, maintain and nurture it (hello new article). In the words of Peyton Klein, those top 25% of our friends, those that will stay in tact, are couch friends, e.g. friends you feel comfortable just sitting on the couch and rotting with. And the other 75% can be chopped up to lunch friends, friends you see for a meal or coffee (or maybe even medium friends?) I happen to like Ralph Waldo Emerson’s definition for couch friends (although he calls them real friends). He says that friendships “when they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the solidest thing we know.”
No matter the type of friend, relationships take intention and hard work. They will be harder with a geographically distant post grad world but that is also perhaps when we will need them most.
📚 Take time to reflect
This one is simple. Journal. Keep track of what’s giving you energy, what’s draining you (shoutout Dustin for this structure) and what’s peaking your curiosity. I’ve found this to be the most helpful indicator if I am following my gut in post grad plans.
🏃♀️ Make moves
The beginning of my quarter was fraught with restlessness. After dropping my class, I found myself filled with something I absolutely dreaded: free time. Following failed attempts to pick up reading and other weird hobbies to avoid boredom, I reached out to my older friends for guidance.
The advice I got from coterm Kabir Jolly was to take the extra time that comes from having already done everything to pursue projects that feel intrinsic. And I’ve found this the best way to channel inner restlessness energy.
I’ve tried to spend my time turning “I want to do this…” to “I did it” whether its a 24 hour vegas trip or finally making a rap music video (more to come on this one). If my summer consulting experience taught me anything it’s that in a post grad 20s grind life, free time is far and few. So do the thing.
At the end of the day I’ll caveat all of this with the words of Socrates “I know nothing.” Especially when it comes to running or finishing marathons (I’ll defer to Tobey and Catherine on this one).
The closest experience I can relate to is my Indian classical dance training. As a 15 year old, I trained for over 5000 hours (in the last 6 months about 6 hours a day) to complete an arangetram, a 4 hour solo debut performance. The word arangetram in Tamil literally translates to ascending the stage. In many ways I see it as the perfect metaphor for our college experience. After training many many hours, we are finally doing our ascent to the next stage of life.
When it came to this dance performance, I chose to take every leg and piece as slightly different and deserving of its own characteristic, mindset, story and pacing. A series of sprints and breaks. I think that’s how I’ll choose to complete my victory lap. How about you?
❄️ Happy thanksgiving and holidays. Grateful for you my readers!
—DG